I am really glad this second infusion of Remicaid went well. I was concerned what might happen. If you take a look at the known side effects it will scare the hell out of you. Heart Failure was my primary concern. My doctor told me to avoid public places as something as simple as the common cold could be fatal if I contract it. Remicaid basically deletes my immune system. In fact, I am my own worst enemy. My immune system is attacking my joints and organs. My biggest fear is that my brain will be effected. If the Remicaid doesn't kill me first.
I must say, living with this gives you an entirely different perspective on your surroundings and life in general. You come to know what is important and who actually gives a damn about you. I must admit, I feel better in a lot of ways. I don't have the vocabulary to put the feelings that I have about it into writing. It just makes you feel weird. Perception is everything as they say and I can't put my finger on it but my perception is different than it was. I feel like I'm going 100 miles an hour and my thoughts are scrambled. I find it difficult to concentrate and my stomach has been upset since the infusion. I feel like I'm on a bullet train and nothing is going to slow me down. I keep telling myself that any day above ground is a good day.
Although my back feels a lot better my hip and my ankles are aching and screaming at me that something is wrong. It feels like a metal stake has been driven into my left hip and I hear a grinding sound from time to time. My ankles are on fire. My left arm is no longer numb but it feels like it has some drift to it. It goes two to three inches farther than I want it to when I move it. Life with Ankylosing Spondylitis is an adventure to say the least. Please pray for me...that I accept God's will without question and that his love will touch my heart and relieve my anxieties.
I must say, living with this gives you an entirely different perspective on your surroundings and life in general. You come to know what is important and who actually gives a damn about you. I must admit, I feel better in a lot of ways. I don't have the vocabulary to put the feelings that I have about it into writing. It just makes you feel weird. Perception is everything as they say and I can't put my finger on it but my perception is different than it was. I feel like I'm going 100 miles an hour and my thoughts are scrambled. I find it difficult to concentrate and my stomach has been upset since the infusion. I feel like I'm on a bullet train and nothing is going to slow me down. I keep telling myself that any day above ground is a good day.
Although my back feels a lot better my hip and my ankles are aching and screaming at me that something is wrong. It feels like a metal stake has been driven into my left hip and I hear a grinding sound from time to time. My ankles are on fire. My left arm is no longer numb but it feels like it has some drift to it. It goes two to three inches farther than I want it to when I move it. Life with Ankylosing Spondylitis is an adventure to say the least. Please pray for me...that I accept God's will without question and that his love will touch my heart and relieve my anxieties.
Comments
Post a Comment